Let’s be real for a minute and talk about how much stress impacts our ability to eat well. Emotional stress, physical stress, job stress…all of it makes me want a big ole’ bowl of cookie dough ice cream. Not to mention wedding planning stress…that’s like a whole new kind of stress I never knew existed.
Today, while getting ready for work, I gave myself a pep talk to prepare for the temptations that will arise throughout the day that will deter me from my goals of how I’d like to feel on my wedding day (in 7 months, AHHHH!). My pep talk quickly turned into an analysis of why I started cheating on my diet and sneaking around with food again. I thought I’d conquered that…shoot! I tried to think of the moment junk food began to tempt me again, like the old days. It was when Sean and I decided it was time to put my oldest fur-child down. To me, losing Baloo was like the silent death of my single-self and all the adventures that life brought about. Don’t get me wrong, marrying Sean is the next best thing to sliced low-carb bread, but I was on my own for a lot of years…just Baloo and I. Honestly, I feel a little lost without him here. Unsure of what to do with my time…so guess what I do? I EAT.
I never prepared for life without Baloo. I never planned how to cope with the emotions of not having him here. I look and sound like my normal self, I even feel like my normal self most days. That’s how emotional eating works though, isn’t it? You don’t feel “emotional”…you just avoid confronting feelings you know won’t be fun by stuffing your face. One thing is certain, I miss my boy. That’s a hurt that won’t go away anytime soon. But, what I can do is recognize that I hurt and am driven to eat BECAUSE I miss him. Consciously and subconsciously. It’s always a slippery slope, as with any addiction, when you play the “just this one time” games. You find excuses to do it more and more. Didn’t have time to meal-prep this week, I’ll just grab McDonalds breakfast and treat myself. The ability to fight off temptations and stick to anything lies in your dedication to being PREPARED. Food prep and I have a love/hate relationship. I love it throughout the week, but oh my, I loathe it on Sundays. Hate it, whine about it, pout. I’d love someone to explain that to me ha!
Anyway, chin up buttercups! We got this 🙂